17 DAYS DOWN, THE REST OF MY LIFE TO GO!

Changes are happening everyday. I want my own apartment one day, the next I'm happy where I'm at. I want to be a nurse one day, the next I wanna be a housewife and have million of kids. I change my mind more in one week than Michael Jackson changed his appearance in a lifetime. (Short as it may have been.) So how do we know that the decisions we make are right? How do we know that the decision we make today won't affect tomorrow for the worst? MARRIAGE? KIDS? LIFE? WTF. Why can't God just come down to earth and tell me what I'm supposed to do. I hate guessing...worse than guessing? Second guessing! I have been clean for 17 f-ing days! Woot woot! 17 of the worst and best days of my life. Hard but refreshing. I'm feeling more and more like myself everyday! Thinking rationally isn't the easiest. Which is why I have to ask...How do we know what we're supposed to do? How do we know where we're supposed to go. Most people take life for what it is and just go with the flow. I don't know if I can do that. I don't want to settle. I don't know if I can just sit back and just let life happen. I want to be more in control. I want to travel. I want to have a career. I want to love life. I want a family. Most importantly I want to live a happy healthy life. As generic as it may sound. All I want is to be happy. All I know is that I'm 17 days clean and I have the rest of my life to go for however long I'm blessed with. Only the future knows what I'll do with this life. I hope I make the best of it!